Cancel The Pity-party

I'll spare you the mundane details, but it had been a long day. A screaming preschooler and a scurrying toddler wore me down and wore me out.

That night after prayers and hugs good-night, my husband and I stood in our quiet room. Myron held me, and I cried out the stress of the day.

"I feel like a terrible mother," I said.

* * *

"We mothers share this grief, this worry, this grinding conscience that says we never do enough.

Or that we never are enough."

from Life in Defiance by Mary DeMuth

* * *

In one brief paragraph, this author summed up my feminine fear and inadequacy.

But now aware of "this grief" as she says, I resolve to question it.

Matthew records an unusual encounter Jesus has with a mom. She pleads with Jesus to help her sick daughter. As she kneels before Him saying, "Lord, help me," Jesus replies by calling her race "dogs" compared to the "children" of Israel.

What would I have done in that moment? Walked away offended? Defended my people? Made a snappy reply about my worth as a person? Told Him everything we'd suffered?

She does none of the above. She keeps the focus on Jesus. "'Yes, Lord,' she said, 'but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table.'"

Wow. Do I focus on Jesus so much that His position and power eclipse my own human shortcomings? Or am I still trying to patch them up and be my own savior?

Jesus, impressed with this response too replies, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted."

As I sat with this story, I was struck at how Jesus' responses allow us to see the depth and beauty of this woman's faith in Him. She does not focus on her own lack, only His ability and compassion to help and heal.

---

At 4:22 AM, I awoke to a thud. My daughter had fallen out of bed. After getting her tucked in for a few more precious hours of sleep, I asked God to help me overcome my self-pity. Put the spotlight back on Me, came the gentle reply.

Just as the woman knelt before Jesus and kept seeking Him, I determine to do the same. In the screaming and scurrying, in the sweet singing and story times, I intentionally shift the focus Up. My peace is starting to reign.

Lord, forgive my many pity-parties. I sought You LORD, and You answered me; You delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. (see Psalm 34)